What Not To Do At Work: Cry

So why would I tear up at my desk at work?

First, I was feeling down as I walked back to my office after my daily 10am meeting. I was feeling a little worthless and wondering about my future and all the fun stuff that a woman in her late twenties worries about at her job.

When I got back to my desk, I called Kaiser. First, some background. When it comes to making appointments for my dermatologist, they open the schedule for a month at a time, and the month I need is never open when I'm at the dermatologist's office. So, they always put me on a list and call me when the schedule opens up for the month I'm supposed to come in for my next check. I do not have my cell phone at work, so I've told the dermatologist's office multiple times that if they are calling me, they need to call my work number. Unfortunately, the office called my cell phone this week, and when I got off work and got the message, it was after work hours and the office was closed. So I called this morning. When I called, they said they they were booked through the first half of December. I'm supposed to see the dermatologist in November.

Sigh.

The nurse noted that there is finally a new dermatologist at my facility, so hopefully some people will switch over to him/her. She also said that Dr. Lorek said clearly that he wanted to see me, so I need to call back in a month, and they will double book me or put me a in procedure slot or something. It's great that they'll fit me in, but it is beyond frustrating to go through this every time I need to make an appointment.  It's not enough that I'm a cancer patient, but I have to deal with this bureaucratic crap too?

After I hung up with the nurse I started tearing up. I don't know what it was, but something about this call was just the final straw for my morning. I ended up calling my mom because I needed to talk to someone. She made me feel better and didn't make me feel bad for having a pity-party. All things considered, it's been awhile since I've had a pity-party regarding my diagnosis, so maybe I was due. I don't know. What I do know is that I'm glad this day is almost over.

In any case, if you are going to have a mini-breakdown a work, it helps if your office is nowhere near another person's office, and it's good to get it over with quickly. Luckily, my office is in no-man's-land when compared to everyone else in my office suite, so I was good there. And while my tears may have lasted 5 minutes, no one came by until after I was already back to work, so it's all good.

Now I just have to wait until the end of October and cross my fingers that they'll fit me in. And hopefully that little breakdown will be my last for a while.