I Was There (Again!)

Today was President Obama's Second Inauguration. Four years ago I sat on the mall and watched history in the making. Today I sat on the parade route and watched history again, in the re-election of Barack Obama.

We got to our gate at 745, and didn't even get into the parade route until after 900. We were supposed to get in around 800, but nothing ever goes as planned.  We finally got in to the parade route (at H and 15th) and were told to just keep walking towards 17th. So we did, and ended up with this view:

Not too shabby. Also not too shabby were these shots:

There is much more to the story, including freezing my butt off from 730 til about 500, but it was worth it. And now I never have to do it again, haha. 

Oh, and I can't forget these suckers, which saved my hands from falling off:

Pale Girl Speaks

Books are my escape. They captivate me, they teach me, they take me away from whatever is happening in my life, and they don't judge. Last week I decided to read a book titles "Pale Girl Speaks," about a young woman who was diagnosed with melanoma at 25. I thought this was a great book, and I highly recommend it.

Here was my review on Goodreads.com:

This was a great book and I would highly recommend it to anyone who has a loved one with the disease, or just wants to understand cancer from the perspective of a woman in her mid-twenties. I am only 5 months removed from my own melanoma diagnosis, and 4 months removed from my surgery, so some of the book was difficult to read. It was nice though to read about another young person dealing with this disease (I turned 27 1.5 weeks prior to my diagnosis), and I learned some things from the author. The most emotional part of the book for me was definitely the beginning, when the author was able to put into words exactly how I felt when I heard the news:

"I have cancer I have cancer I have cancer. I need to say it one more time. I have cancer...Okay. I'm just going to sit here in my den with my dog at my feet...it's that word that's bothering me so much....The one...ya know, the "c"-word..."That word" always seemed fairly easy to say when I'd used it in stories about other people. Stories about older people...It was just another word. It's just another word when you're talking about someone else. But now, I don't have..that word. I just can't.

It's so weird. I'm sitting here on my couch and everything around me looks the same as always...yet I feel like everything is so completely different. I feel like a completely different person than I did 10 minutes ago."

Reading this brought tears to my eyes as I remembered my own emotions and thoughts when I heard the news. It's difficult to explain to someone how it feels to be diagnosed with cancer, but this managed to capture almost exactly what I felt. I almost want to give this to some of my friends so they understand what it's like to get that call. 

The author takes you on a journey and leaves nothing out, which is as it should be. Melanoma is a terrible disease, and one that doesn't go away once the cancerous mole is removed. In fact, reading about the woman whose melanoma had spread who wouldn't sign up for additional treatment really bothered me and made me think. What would I do if I was ever in that situation? While I haven't turned to alcohol, I can completely understand why someone would. Especially with the worries about family members also having the disease. There are many parts of this story that don't parallel my journey, but it was still interesting to read. Her relationships with her husband and parents were fun to read too, though I feel terrible about her father.

The best part of this book for me has to be in the author's note:

"I can now say...there is no real way to move past a cancer diagnosis. To move past something evokes a sense of finality, and unfortunately, with cancer, there is no actual endgame...except the inevitable. Staying proactive about one's health requires awareness and constant vigilance...Fighting cancer is a continuous battle. The battle may not be raging every moment or in the forefront of one's mind every hour of every day, but it's never far behind. It's there, kinda wandering around, poking it's ugly head into and out of the action. Yes, melanoma is part of my history, but it is also my present and my future, and that I have come to accept."

Cancer is now a part of me, and I can't ever forget it. I am thinking of traveling this summer, and part of my thought process is how much I will be in the sun. That isn't something I would have really worried about last year, and now I think of it constantly. I feel like I need to get special clothes to run in, and that the beach is now off limits, and that if I ever get married, a beach trip will not be part of my honeymoon. Who knew one mole could change my life?

In any case, this was a great book. I also now have a question for my dermatologist based on something I read in the book, so not only was it good to read for catharsis and therapeutic reasons, but it might have led to a medical change for me too. I guess I'll find out in a month, at my next quarterly dermatologist appointment.

New Beginnings

Well, 2013 can't be any worse than 2012, right? I mean, I've already been diagnosed with cancer, and beaten it so far. I just have to hope that I don't get another melanoma. Luckily the results from my last couple biopsies were clear, so yay for that. My next appointment is in February, once I can book it that is. Fingers crossed all looks good. My incision is healing pretty well, and my body hasn't rejected any more of the stitches, so that's a good thing. I just have to keep an eye on my skin evening out, which it still hasn't. So at 6 months I might be making a follow up appointment with my surgeon. We shall see.

In other medical news, I have an appointment with my ophthalmologist for Feb 19. I have had an eye problem for over a year now, and while it's better, my eyes still aren't completely normal, so we shall have to see what he says.

I spent Dec 21-30 in CA, and it was nice to get away from DC for a bit. I'm planning on traveling more in the coming year, and already have some trips to CA planned: my 10 year high school reunion (eek!), Mo's wedding, and of course the holidays next year. I would also love to go somewhere else, but that might have to wait until the following year.

This NYE was kind of a bust, but I am used to that. I always build up NYE in my mind in the hopes that it will be awesome, as it is the holiday I most look forward to, but I have learned to temper my hopes for the most part. This year I was supposed to go to a friend's apartment for a gathering, like last year. But last year I was the only single person left by the time the ball dropped, and I really didn't want to be in that situation again. Plus, it would take an hour to get there by metro, plus an hour to get back, and I'm just not in the mood. I'm also still kind of annoyed with the person hosting. One of my faults is that I can hold a grudge, and I'm just not ready to let this one go. The person hosting the party is one of the people I told about my melanoma pretty soon after my diagnosis, and while she checked in once the day of my surgery, she kind of disappeared after that, and expected me to come to VA if I wanted to hang out. I know she had a new and demanding job, and that she had a boyfriend, now fiance, but if the roles were reversed, I know I would have followed up and been more involved. So I'm still bitter. And I need to get over it. But I'm still mad enough to not go out to VA for the holiday, leaving me in DC. I was planning on hanging out with another friend, but she ended up having plans, so instead its just me, Sammy, and a glass of wine. And you know what? I'm okay with that. What is tonight other than just another night anyway? It would be nice to be with a significant other or with a group of people I want to be with, but I'm okay with my own company as well. And to be honest, after flying back to DC yesterday, I'm kind of worn out as it is.

Here is to 2013 being a better year than 2012, and to pushing myself further than before to get out there and do more.

P.S. One of these days I want to be in Sydney for NYE. It looks freaking amazing.