qualche volte odio il mio corpo

Sometimes I hate my body.

I know that every girl feels this way at times. But seriously, I hate it. Right now I have folliculitis...again...and it is gross and annoying. I also have atypical nevus, meaning there is a strong possibility I will get skin cancer. I have a broken foot that is due to my own stupidity. I have a ligament that I tore that still bothers me every now and then.
Then there is the fact that I am a coke bottle. Literally. I have the boobs and the waist and the hips. I find it ironic. This is the body type that so many people claim is perfect, yet no one design clothes for it! I can never find anything that fits me right, and it just gets annoying.
Sigh.

I have two secrets that i feel compelled to put into words as well, so here we go...
Ho una cotta per un sicuro qualcuno.
Ho comprato un libro di erotico.
Che cosa è errato con me?

Happy Birthday To Me?

So I am now 22. Woohoo.
Sadly, my birthday was nothing too exciting. The day before, Mom, Brian, and Eric came with me to an Angels game. That was pretty exciting, especially when we won. Our seats were not that great though, and while it was fun, I wish I had had a friend with me as well. On my actual birthday, I chopped off my hair to donate it to Locks of Love, and went to dinner at Benihana. And that was all she wrote. I kind of wish I could say I had a more eventful birthday, but I didn't. On Sunday some of my guy friends came over and we played some beer pong, but that only lasted a couple of hours. It was fun, dont get me wrong, but it kind of sucked at the same time becuase it was so boring. I got lots of bday wishes online on facebook, but there were couple that were conspicuously absent. The main ones would be those from Jess and Emily. I dont know why, but it kind of hurts that I didnt get any acknowledgement. I guess I just put too much in my friendships/relationships. This isnt news or anything, but it still sucks and I know I probably wont be changing. At any rate, the long post I was going to make just isnt there anymore, so I suppose thats all for now.

Che Romanzesco

So on Saturday mom and I drove up to visit Nana and Grandpa Normie. On the way there we saw this banner: "Angela Adams, Stay mine forever. Marry me?" I got goosebumps. I am such a romantic at heart. I love to read the romance novels, as lame as some may see it to be. They just make me happy. I hope to some day have someone who loves me enough to do something crazy like that. I dont mean that I need him to profess his love in the sky, just something that gives me goosebumps.
However, is my love of romance novels and movies just setting me up to be disappointed for life? I wonder if my love for them has contributed to my standards and even made them unattainable. I want so much to love and be loved, yet I never seem to be satisfied. At times I wonder if there is anyone out there for me. I really have my doubts sometimes.
Still, I don't see myself changing my choices in books and movies any time soon. So, I guess I am either doomed to failure or absolute bliss. The future will tell.

Cabin Fever

I think that I am suffering from cabin fever. I keep getting antsy and angry and bored and nothing is making me happy. I am tired of being here, where I can't do anything. Part of it is my broken foot and the fact that I can't drive anywhere. The other is the fact that there is really next to nothing to do in San Marcos. Especially seeing as all my friends are either gone or working or in school. I just feel like there is absolutely nothing for me to do. Im not in the mood to do some homework, read, lay out, walk, anything. the things I want to do I can't: run, dance, swim, yell, scream. Sigh.
I loath feeling this self-pity, but I can't help how I feel. I think going to SF and DC was good because it gave me a break from the monotony, but bad because it made me even more itchy to get out. I love my mom, and it hasn't even been that bad living here for now in that respect, I just need to get out of the house.
So, do I give in and go to American just to go to school and get out of here? I can't. Its just not in me to do that. I need to do something though, because soon I think I will seriously freak out.
Sigh, I need to get out of here.