Well That Was Fun

Yesterday was my surgery. Dad and I arrived at Kaiser at 9:15am, and my surgery was scheduled for 10:50am. Shockingly, it actually started almost on time (I was wheeled into OR2 at 10:52). The surgery itself lasted about an hour and I was wheeled into recovery around noon. All of the doctors/nurses were really nice, though I was worried about my IV. I could hear the nurse repeatedly sticking the woman in the bed next to me, and not be able to get the IV started. Luckily, she didn't hurt me too bad and got my IV started in one go. I don't know why I'm surprised, but my hand is still sore today. In other news, I was surprised by how little my leg hurt yesterday. I now realize that was because the local anesthesia lasted through most of the day until last night. Today it hurts. Pretty bad. Though it fluctuates as to the level of pain throughout the day. I did get vicodin, but I'm trying to use it as little as possible, which may be stupid, but oh well. Tomorrow I get to take the outer bandage off and take a shower. Part of me doesn't want to take the bandage off because I'm slightly scared to see the wound. I think I'm just going to have to suck it up so I can clean it though, so tomorrow I get to see it whether I want to or not. Fingers crossed it doesn't look too terribly bad.

It's The Final Countdown

I'm due to show up at Kaiser in Gaithersburg at 9:20am tomorrow morning. Dad's plane just arrived at Dulles and he is on his way to the condo. Hopefully in 12 hours this will all be over. This time at least. I have this sneaking suspicion/fear that I have other melanoma's on my body that I just don't know about, and that we will do biopsies and more surgeries in the near future. My LDH level was on the low end of normal, so that's a positive sign, but I still worry. I guess its just a waiting game for the foreseeable future. Wish me luck and fingers crossed surgery goes well tomorrow and no skin graft is needed.

Welcome Home

Yesterday we welcomed home the remains of Ambassador J. Chris Stevens, Sean Smith, Glen Doherty, and Tyrone Woods. Employees were welcome to go to Andrews Air Force Base for the ceremony, but even though I feel enormously connected to what happened, I don't, well didn't, know any of the four personally. So I decided to stay at work, complete my assignments since I am going to be out next week, and watch the ceremony via our internal media. I know this is the same, or at least similar, ceremony that our soldiers receive, and it was both beautiful and heartbreaking. I greatly appreciate the fact that the Secretary made her eulogy personal, mentioning Sean's online friends for example, and that both she and the President made it clear that justice will be done and that this will not push us out of Libya. That is not what these four men would have wanted, and I feel that continuing our mission there is one of the best tributes we could give them. Secretary Clinton's line that the people of the Arab Spring did not come out from under the thumb of tyrants to fall under the thumb of mobs was especially compelling given the reaction to this ridiculous video all throughout the Middle East.

Yesterday I was also able to sign the condolence books for Amb. Stevens. One thing I wrote was how he has inspired me to be a better civil service employee and to possibly apply for the foreign service. I know that most people would see what happened and say no way would I want to work out there, but I have been inspired. I haven't seen a single person who has a negative thing to say about Ambassador Stevens, including those in Libya (minus the extremists who ambushed him), and his passion for his job is admirable. So I think one day in the near future I may be applying to be a foreign service officer. In the meantime, at least I can be sure that my work is making a difference, and I can continue to look for fulfilling and important work.

RIP Chris, Sean, Glen, and Tyrone. You will never be forgotten.

What A Day

I woke up this morning to an alert from CNN that said that Ambassador Chris Stevens, posted in Libya, had been killed overnight, along with 3 other Mission personnel. It was a heartbreaking thing to wake up to. I was hopeful the news was wrong, but as I got to work, I realized it was in fact true. It is mind-blowing to me that of all the Americans in Libya that the extremists decided to attack, they chose Ambassador Stevens. He was a career diplomat who spent a large amount of time in Northern Africa. Not only that, but prior to being appointed Ambassador to Libya he served as the U.S. Envoy to the rebels back in the fight against Qaddafi and he helped to save Benghazi. The fact that he was killed in Benghazi is a slap in the face to U.S. and our Libyan counterparts.

Throughout the morning I watched Secretary Clinton's speech and President Obama's speech, as well as the news coverage of the attack. Then at about 1100 we were told to go down to the Courtyard. We did so, and President Obama gave a speech to the employees thanking us for our service and offering condolences for the loss of an esteemed colleague. He spoke off the cuff and from the heart, and it was nice that he came personally to the Department. It shows that the higher ups are aware of us little folk, and it was a much needed morale boost. I even got to shake the President's hand as he walked down the line. Part of me is excited, but that emotion is tempered by the fact that it took a tragedy to get there.

I have so much emotion running through me about this incident that I don't have much else I can say right now. Religious intolerance should never be accepted, but freedom of speech exists for a reason, and we can't forget that. More to come I'm sure.

One last thought-If I didn't already despise Romney, I would after his ridiculous and unnecessary statement last night. There was no need to turn the loss of an Ambassador into a political spectacle, especially with how quickly things were moving both in Cairo and in Libya. I already knew he despised federal workers, but I never thought he would stoop so low as to use us for political fodder. Despicable.

Color Run

Yesterday some friends and I did the Color Run. This is a run where about every kilometer volunteers throw colored powder on you. This is what we looked like post-run:

It was fun, and I did better than I thought considering I couldn't breath very well thanks to a nasty summer cold. Anyway, post race was the real fun. This is when we all gathered at the color festival and threw our colored powder that we had run with into the air. We got quite messy :-)

I think my favorite part was getting back to the apartment. Thank god Jamie drove us and I only had to walk through my building. I can't even begin to imagine the looks I would have gotten on metro, haha. All in all it was a great morning and while I have washed my shirt (unsuccessfully I might add, there are still color stains), I am planning on preserving my headband. Its just too freaking cool.

This is definitely a race I would do again and that I would recommend.

Countdown to surgery is officially one week. Eek.

Habits

A quick google search will show that it takes about 66 days to form a habit. This means that as of my surgery day, I will have been going to gym for 63 days. That's not say that I've gone to the gym every day. Rather, it will have been 63 days since I started going to the gym semi-regularly. That will all be for naught since as of Sept 17 I'll be stuck with no running for 4 weeks. That's unfortunate because I actually have been going more often recently and not only enjoying it, but I feel like my body is finally comfortable and happy running again. My shin splits have stopped and I am able to run most of my 30-35 minute treadmill time. So in order to stay at least somewhat active during my forced time-out, I'm going to ask my doctor if I can do yoga or at least something to work on my core and arms while I can't use my leg.  My doctor did say no elliptical machine, so I know nothing that uses the legs will be allowed. But I figure yoga might be ok. I guess we'll find out. And I'll just have to keep my fingers crossed that I don't lose all of my hard work getting in the habit of going to the gym in the month I have off and that its easy to get back into it once I'm allowed to run again.

It's a Shame...

...that my initial incision is healing so well. Knowing that its going to be ripped apart is slightly unnerving and quite sad seeing as I took really good care of it and have avoided picking at the scab. Oh well.  At least it will be put back together again. Just not as pretty as it currently is looking.

In related news, Dad is flying out on Sept 16 for sure, and leaving Sept 20, a few hours prior to Mom's arrival. I guess all that has to happen now is the actual surgery. Oh, and my pre-op appointment and blood tests and x-ray, but that's the minor stuff, right?

I've decided I'm not telling anyone else at work beyond the 3 people I originally told (my boss and 2 of my closer coworkers). I feel like its not really their business, I don't want to become the cancer girl, and they don't need to know, so why tell them? I have to submit a leave slip to the timekeeper obviously, but I talked to my boss, and I'm just going to have him sign it and then leave the signed slip on her desk the Friday night before my surgery. I know I have to tell them something, but I really don't want to get into to much detail and to be perfectly honest, I'm not the biggest fan of the timekeeper and would realllllly rather she knows as little as possible.

My frame of mind is a lot better this week than it was last week. Especially in the fact that I'm not as freaked out about my other moles. That's not to say I'm not worried or that I'm not thinking about it. Just that it isn't the first thing on my mind when I wake up, the last thing I think of before going to bed, or something that pops into my head every 5 minutes. I'm still freaked out, but at a lesser level than before. And I think that's all I can ask for until I get my blood tests back, I complete the surgery, and I see my dermatologist again in November.