A Little Piece of Me

The night before surgery I took out my cartilage piercing. I was a little worried about it, but I figured it would be back in in no time. Post surgery I didn't want to ask Dad to put it in, so I asked Mom when she was here. She couldn't get it in because of her nails, and she couldn't see the hole. I decided I would go to Claires in the mall and have them do it. Today I made my way to the store, and they wouldn't put it in. I was surprised, and pressed them, and they still refused. I walked out of the store absolutely deflated. I know its stupid, but that piercing is a piece of me and my one bit of rebellion. I'm a goody-two-shoes through and through, and I liked having that as my little bit of edge. As I walked out of the store, all I really wanted to do was cry. It sounds stupid. I mean, I haven't been all that emotional about too much that has happened as a result of this, this being cancer, but for some reason not being able to get my earring back in has really gotten to me. So why don't I just get it re-pierced? Well, it takes 3 months to heal, last time my curly hair got tangled around the stud, I had a lot of infections after I finally was able to change earrings, and what if I have another melanoma and have to have another surgery requiring me to remove it again? I feel like its just time to give it up, even though I'm not ready and am being forced to do so. A little piece of me is gone now, but I have to look at the big picture and be happy that that is my biggest problem right now. Granted, I still have my incision to deal with, but I knew that going in. I guess what I should say is that I should be happy that this is my biggest unanticipated problem.

Next up:

10/22: Removal of stitches

11/13: Dermatology appointment